January 30, 2009

You don't know me at all.

This is a rough draft of a logo for Zack's band, My Sweet Alibi.
I'm working on photoshop using my tablet to draw this.
I understand there is choppiness,
and we're working on it!
But in the meantime, you can check out their music:
:D
I'm still sore from an intensive aerobic workout yesterday. Not to mention tired from leaving the house at 7:10 am and getting back slightly before 9 pm. But, I shall not complain for the fear Zack will comment "Whambulance!" due to my excessive whining. Oh, whatever. This is my blog. :p [Haha, our math teacher delegated him to be teacher's assistant today in class.]

My day was mediocre. More FCAT practice, just now for English. Busy work plus plenty of vocab to define before Friday the 13th of Februrary in Biology. I think think there's something like 102 words. Not so good-o. I'm getting closer to being done with glass etching in art. I need to put contact paper on the glass, trace my designs, then cut it out. I have history notes to write. To fulfull the requirement of five pages, I'm going to use wide ruled paper instead of my usual college ruled kind. It's kinda silly when there's only five pages of information, not all of it relevant, to take notes on in the first place. Well, I'm not the teacher and it doesn't exactly bother me either way. Simply must get it done.

I am reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, recommended by Zack as somewhat theraputic. [I keep wanting to think her name is "rind". Tee hee.] It's okay so far. Problem with some books are they take a little to long to truly get into. I'll try not to abandon this one. If you're looking for a good read, I would have to say Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Who is visiting a local library near me. Puja, Swanny?, and I might go to ask questions. And no, I haven't prepared thirteen reasons why you should read it, like my friend, Dammie, asked for me to list. Half the reasons were because I'm sweetawesome. Ha-ha.

Part of why I was at school way past the time I should be was because of this showcase for possibly incoming freshman interested in all the clubs, sports and such the high school has to offer. Puja and I were practically begged by the library specialist to represent Teen Book Club at the event. Oh, yay. We talked to a few people here and there, but no one was majorly impressed from what I could tell. There's was a man almost downright outraged about there "not being any science fiction books on display." I seriously couldn't tell if he was giving me a hard time, or if he was a teacher I just didn't know. Unusual, either way.

My turtles' drawing was put up again! Pretty rad, right? Puja and I got quite a bit bored and I was a little hyper myself. I went down a few empty tables to another set-up and they were pouring punch and this guy was like, "would you want some?" I kindly said no. A few minutes later, him and other friends of his put their cups to a toast and grabbed one, joining in, then saying, "but I don't know any of you." I went on to explain that I was my brother's sister and they were incredulous. "Really? You guys look nothing alike." A slight pause, my amused chuckle at the common response. Then one adds, "you definitely got the good genes." And I wonder if I blushed. I probably did, damnit! I said thanks and there was nothing more. [In retrospect, it sounds like some stupid pick-up line, though I didn't perceive it that way then. It seemed genuine with a slight hint of adoration.]

Perhaps this weekend will be relaxing. I better finish Zack's poster soon.

See yah on the flip side.

Quote of the month:
"Samurais are ninjas!"
--A girl named Corrine in my history class who is not the sharpest crayon in the box.
And she knows this.

January 26, 2009

B's in more ways than one.

Quite an uneventful day at school in my opinion. THe highlight might have to be the fact there was a massive swarm of bees everywhere in the lunch, courtyard area. I don't have any homework tonight. Blissful. It's my mother's birthday today. Plus it's the Chinese New Year. Oh, darn, I shoulda worn red for good luck! Anyway. Uneventful day means slightly uneventful evening. No homework besides this FCAT practice. I know if you don't live in Florida you might be wondering what on earth FCAT is. In a nutshell, it is hell in a handbasket. Mind-numbingly stupid test we have to take [and pass, I might add] every year from third grade to tenth grade. You kind of get a break in eleventh only having to take Science. I'd describe it in more detail, yet it bores me, too.

As for the boy department [or should I say "mens"?] I playfully tapped Will on the shoulder today while almost skipping by. Kinda flirtatious like. He smiled. I smiled. I almost kinda bursted with giddiness. However, I can't get my hopes way to sky high. At least not yet. Do not make presumptious assumtions, Lizzie. [Ha, we can pretend like that made sense.] I saw Stephen/ven and girlfriend making out AGAIN. By now it's routine and such but t's still plain yick. Yick. Yick. Yick.

Speaking of B's, I believe that's what I got on my math quiz today. I think I could've done better had I studied even more. WAIT! HOLY SHMOLY!! Just checked grades online...and, drumroll please, I got a 92! :D Insanely. Happy. I just ran around showing everyone in my family what I got. Ahhh, except my dad. Hold on; I'll be back. Just did. Whoooo! This feels so great. I'm going to study that much every time. No lie.

This evening went by slowly, and I'm grateful. Very grateful.

I think these lazy bones need a rest. G'night.

January 25, 2009

All around me are familiar faces.



More pictures from that same adventure outside.

I kind of want to do something new and exciting with my hair, but I have mild difficulty finding the time for it. The couple of next Saturdays are already booked with stuff. Not even necessarily things I want to do, but I said I would so that's that. Maybe I'll grow it out until it reaches my waist. I know this girl in my art class who did that. How about I'll donate it to locks of love? What a plan. Plans usually fall threw with me, though. Disheartening fact, really. So! Maybe I should dye it blue. I'd surely stand out, that's for sure. Would mother approve? Highly doubtful. That's okay, I don't really want it blue anyway. Just a thought.

What is going on? It's 6:13 and my eyes are already drooping. I think it might have something to with crying about ten times today. For reasons far past disclosure. Well, some. Others are so silly I'd waste my [and your] time talking [reading] about it.

I, by no means, want to go to school tomorrow. Then again, I, by no means, don't want to end up swimming in make-up work and jeopardizing my grades. Sounds like a lose, lose situation to me. Oh boy, I can't believe I haven't told you guys -- Puja and I dissected a sheep heart in Biology this past Friday. Gross to a point, but if you just manned up, everything was dandy. [Correction: I shouldn't use the word "manned" since these guy lab partners beside us nearly shrieked doing it. It was, kinda funny. ha.] We have a test this upcoming Wednesday for that class. Joy.
I believe my family is calling me to eat dinner real soon. Adios.

January 21, 2009

No one runs faster than you can.

I felt adventurous yesterday afternoon,
so I went outside in the freezing cold and took pictures.
I like the angle. :]


I had the intention of writing la few nights ago except my brother, fellow procrasinator, needed the laptop to work. He uses mine since his other laptop doesn't keep a charge and is just hard to even describe how it's messed up. :/ Which is unfortunate. But, the point being, my brother will probably get a laptop for his birthday (Jan 28th) and he won't be consistently asking to borrow mine after then. I'm usually happy to share, though. He let me do the same over the summer when his computer at least turned on, despite running programs like it was a slurtle. (A cross between a sloth and a turtle. Haha.)

I felt like a dolt for not figuring this out myself, but Zack mentioned creating pictures using my tablet and photoshop. My first semi-creation is my new sweetawesome blog title background. It's only partially mine since I didn't take those pictures myself. However, I did arrage them so and put my title in. Yep, yep.
I had a math test yesterday and we were given them back to finish today during reading period. Yeah, let's not hide the facts, I'm quite sure I have a failing grade on it. Bah. I cried earlier and I think my resolve this time around is to do my homework more than once and quizzing myself EVERY DAY. Because I should be able to do this. Why I keep panicing is beyond me. I mustn't be overwhemled. I can do this.

My internal enthusiam swelled as I watched, er listened - in History no less - to newly sworn-in President Obama address us Americans during his Inauguration yesterday. I could probably write paragraphs about how I feel towards this, yet I have to eat soon and still have a "family portrait" to draw according to descriptions of characters in short story Harrison Bergeron for English. I went online to check my grades and I got a 90 on my vocab definitions. Which makes me a little mad. I bet it was some of those blasted challenges that did me in. Okay, sorry; I'll stop muttering.

We're going to start glass etching in art. Sounds fun and different!

I need to study the parts of the heart before next Wednesday. I fear my biology vocab test today wasn't spectacular due to lack of proper preperation. (Awesome alliterations, no?) Thankfully, my grade at this moment is 110. Now, I can fret a little less, perhaps?

Wow. Just about every other day I've helped out at my old middle school. Last Thursday for Science Bowl coaching. Past Saturday I spent a fair portion helping kiddos with their science project written-up things and last night I judged the school science fair. [Which isn't a huge deal. There are no medals and sore losers.] Tomorrow, more coaching. Wundebar.
I'm telling you, Aerobics is a good workout. I'm glad I'm taking it. Even if it is first period and I get all sweaty. I'll make that sacrifice for a healthy body anyday. Well, almost anyday, anyway. (I swear it just comes out like that. I don't spend 15 minutes trying out words to get that combination. It'd be a little absurd if I did.)

I've noticed I haven't done the tagging right for a couple of my entires. Ah, my bad.
Still have English to finish and my math resolve to do. And hey, maybe I can finish Zack's drawing? Maybe.

January 16, 2009

I was a little girl; alone in my little world.

"Poetry shall teach thy soul, and with it, you and I shall thrive."--Myself.

I have a putrid headache. I keep drinking water, but it has yet to cease. How annoying. Having a full taste of everything workout in Aerobics might have something to with it. I had sweated. I suppose later the abnormal cold outside cooled me down, anyway. Ha, I love my art teacher - she gave us hot chocolate! And I have Art second period, right after Aerobics, and well, it all worked out.

I had a History Paper 1 today. For those of you unfamiliar with the termonology, it's just Cambridge, England's fancy way of saying "test." It consists of two questions you may choose from to answer parts a, b, c. Part C is supposed to be an essay, so more than a page and half with plenty of analysis. Let me just say they grade tough to get us prepared. The first one I ever took at the beginning of this school year I completely bombed. We're talking a 55 with a 30 point curve. Most recenty I think I scored a 93? But even with that there was a mild curve. At least I've gotten more of the hang of it. Good riddance to the Civil War. Oh, wait, we have to cover it next year, too for U.S. History! It's so silly to do it that way. I particularly don't find it all that interesting, regardless. Compared to other parts of the worlds, the United States is young. Hardly much history to delve into. I believe we're starting Meiji Period in Japan next, though. Also known as what Puja, Swanny and I covered for our project. Talk about depth. Even though I've been pre-exposed to the topic, I hope I can still keep up.

Psh, vocab quiz for English was ridculously easy. I got way too carried away in my short story using five of the words. Ahhh. We're going to start reading Animal Farm by George Orwell when we get back next week. I've heard it's a good book (and relatively short).

I think that's about it of the new and (somewhat) exciting school news. The social scene is another story. I feel like taking pencils and shoving it down people's throats. Yes, I know, these violent urges/fantasies should not turn into reality...it's just so hard. Maybe my biggest issue/problem/whatever is when someone takes a well-known truth, then states it matter of factly as if I would've never heard it before. I cried myself to sleep last night, facing the wall. I do realize I'm some to blame for unleashing this madness, but I just don't want to hear it. I'm haunting my own soul by provoking others to say something hurtful unintentionally and backhandedly when I speak a compliment or kind words. It's horrible. I'm making good people look like bank robbers through my eyes. Wow, this is complicated.

I've given up my passion for photography. Any spark, any desire, any will to do it is gone. I know why and I'll come out with it when I can express it well in words. As of now. it is a collection of phrases swirling around in my mind. It may stay that way for a while. I apologize to lead you on with such curiousty only to leave you hanging...

My mom remarked "good thing, we didn't buy you a good camera. A little too late on the photoshop." And I rebuttled I could still use it to edit normal digital cameras. If I continue taking pictures, that is. As I said, I'm losing interest. Rapidly. Art and writing are more for me.

I can't keep twisting into this contorted ball of unhappiness. As Gary the would advise, "it's baaaaaadd." Okay, sorry, lame pun. Joke. Ha-ha. Moving on... One thing did momentarily make me joyous: in Biology we moved seats, but Will was walking by and he touched my back very softly and said hey. Oh, I was witnessed Stephen and girlfriend kissing intently at the bottom of the stairs to 7th period. (It's not a like I stared or anything. Eww.)

Alright, I'll leave you guys with a poem I wrote just last night. It's not atonshingly well written, but tell me your thoughts? Please and thank you.


Loved

I think that's the last
Major discussion we had
I was upset, distressed
and perhaps a little misguided
I never though he'd set me on path
But I listened to his words nonetheless
"If you want to be loved, go find it"
or something like that.
Then I suppose I didn't.

Still confused, he went on to explain
You don't need a boyfriend to be okay
You don't need the significant other
You'll have enough love from a brother
And mother
Or whatever you have

Now, I'm more lost that ever
I'm avoiding contact, true feelings
Unwilling to uncover true meanings
and battling with these human beings

Yes; maybe I'm an alien
A super smart alien perhaps
Yet I'm convinced I'm nothing more.
That until I am loved by a guy
My life is unfulfilled, unsatisfied
Incomplete
I am losing hope as fast the
lightning strikes
and eyes blink
I'm letting too much pass by as
I continue to wonder
What does it take for me to be loved?

January 09, 2009

Tears stop right here.

I tried to write before, but I was disappointed in its quality and thus went on to delete it. I haven't been inspired to say anything before either. Nothing of much note has been happening. I have been extremely tired lately. Even after a 11:30 to 6:20ish worth of sleep I'm barely able to keep my eyes open, much less be entertained and happy about things in life. My apathy is swelling inside me and I don't really know how to deal. I think I'm going to take a break from confiding in friends. Not that they aren't a good outlet I can go to, I just stress over that detail of speaking to them in addition to my problem, which half the time is made out to not to be an ordeal and I'm silly to ever think it was. I over-react. I've come a long to way accept that it may never change. It's merely part of who I am. Therefore I'm taking the initiative to not get into situations where I could conceivable over-react. There's only havoc to be wrecked if I do, and I just can't take that. I'll go see a shrink, (therapist; whatever) if this worsens.

A good piece of news earlier this week: I learned I'm having my drawing of turtles be put on display in the mall. My art teacher loved it, and I had a high-soaring feeling the rest of the day. Getting a 100 on my history exam was an added booster. Next day, it didn't matter. The world moved on. No lasting gratitude; at least not much yet? I'm going to have to get used this. Life doesn't always repeatedly pat you on the back for any single accomplishment. Unless you're Lincoln, or another famous person from history or something.

New schedule at school. I can officially say good-bye to Career Research. I passed with flying colors and there will be no need to repeat that dreadful excuse for a class. Hallelujah. That is until the State Legislature or District School Board goes completely wacko and requires a similar class every year. With this, I can also semi bid ado to Stephen (Lordy, I still don't know how to spell his name!) although we talked the grand total of once and it ended awkardly. Does that count? I still sometimes wonder if I made a lasting impression, but that notion is quickly swept away when I notice him and his girlfriend lip-locking on my way to seventh period. Yeah, I think it's safe to assume not.

To replace that semester class, I have aerobics. On the first day--which was Thursday this week--I recognized a few faces. And to think I had gotten rid of them! A few guys, too. Hey, if that's their choice, so be it. I don't say that out of sake for their cuteness...I think in order for that to work that'd have to actually be attractive. Brutal, but honest. I don't know if I'll make any lifetime long friends out of anyone. That's okay, I'm there to get in shape, not gossip or engage myself in conversations. If I come off as a loner, that's fine as well.

My lips are chapped. Must be due to all this cold weather we're having lately. (Well, it is January after all. What did you expect? To be getting a tan?) I am also pudgier than I want to be. Not much I feel even willing to address that. Aerobics would be one thing, though I probably should be getting out and doing other things.

Tomorrow I am volunteering at my middle school for a lego tournament. There's a chance I'll get to hang with Nikki and Dani there. Why? Well, they're helping out as past of the senior robotics team in charge of running the whole sha-bam. I'm just there since I was asked to be. After that, I get a little break at home, then I go baby-sit. Fun, fun. I think it's been a whole year since I've watched these kids. I'm praying their cousin from Canada isn't staying over again; she was a royal pain. Yeah, I know, I lived to tell the story.

Oh, last note. I recommend the book Burned, Crank, and Impluse by Ellen Hopkins. The books look huge since she tells the story entirely in different styles of poems. They are addicting, and [surprisingly?] fast-paced. An avid reader like myself would tend to finish in around two days, give or take a few hours.

Good night, sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.

January 01, 2009

A picture.

I'm drawing this picture of a band Zack likes. It's a gift, I suppose. The band: Parkway Drive. Keep in mind this is a very small sample...