YOU ARE THE WORST. You made me miss a day of BEDA!
Thanks to you, my feet are aching, my brain is fried, and I'm desperately shoving my crap into boxes. I keep asking myself: "Why can't I live minimalistic? Why haven't I downsized? What is my problem?"
The only way I'm posting this on the 14th is because I'm cheating the system. See, you are corrupting me.