January 02, 2016

Start Fresh

Oh hey there.

What is this?  I'm blogging again?  But didn't I say that blogging doesn't make me happy anymore?

Well, people change.

I found I missed this platform to write (albeit terribly) and, if I'm perfectly honest, it was becoming a real headache to build and maintain any other site with the intention of "branding myself."  Ugh.  Seriously.  My least favorite thing.  Don't worry, I've acknowledged that I'll still have to get a website for myself sooner rather than later.  And I say this while acknowledging it was hanging fire on my to-do list for a while in 2015.  Lowering expectations now.

Furthermore, I do not intend on making money off blogging.  Sure, plenty of people I admire and respect have made it work, and that's great!  But that's not for me.  Same for YouTube.  No one could pay me enough to monetize the experimental stuff I put there.

2015 was a fascinating year of self-growth with a whole lotta struggle mixed in there.  Scientists are still getting back to me about the estimate of tears I shed...probably a boat load.  And boy did it sink.

I'd like to think that I'm learning from my mistakes, though.  This YouTuber, Linda Barsi, seems to grapple with similar issues that I do and her three steps to happiness are an important reminder to me; it's all about asking for and accepting help.

Amidst the turmoil, I somehow did a few things right.  I spent the time and money to meet up with the Blogger Family for the first time in July.  That was...emotional.  It was weird to not be able to go home for my grandfather's funeral.  It also felt strange to be surrounded by people who I "knew," and yet friends who did not know about my struggle with depression and anxiety.  I didn't fully appreciate it at the time, but we're all pretty wicked cool and creative and damn good Instagrammers.   High fives to us.  And so I apologize.  I wish I would've been in a better mental state to enjoy your company all the more.   I'd still be down to host a meetup in the Twin Cities at some point.  Basically, we'll just hang out at Kaitlyn's and play with Rocky.  Wouldn't that be the dream?

Anyway, bottom line, I'm here and you can't get rid of me this time.

xx (I still desperately want to be British, okay?),


  1. It WOULD be the dream. Thanks for feeling comfortable sharing things with us, and you know that #blogfam has an open ears policy! Here's to 2016! *clinks glasses*

  2. glad that you've returned and i hope 2016 will have more wonderful moments for you! x

    1. Thanks Laura! I hope the same for you; excited to get back into following people semi-more regularly again.