This fall meant so much change. On my amazing trip to Madison, WI this past August, I glimpsed various post-grad lives. Seeing one friend working a quality assurance job confirmed that I was choosing a very different path. Did I feel insecure about paying for a fairly expensive dinner out? Yes, of course. But I have to accept that some of my peers' earnings will double my yearly living allowance doing AmeriCorps. I'm hoping they'll invest some of the money they're making into the arts, social services, and progressive non-profits.
While also in Madison, I admired the living spaces of friends. I'm downright obsessed with pleasing aesthetics and good interior design. Please, give me plants and prints and everything else the yuppie probably likes. At times I get disgusted aspiring to have any kind of designer home or collect pieces of art because I'm not sure it reflects me and my values. Is this what I'm turning into?
Scotland, I miss you. I miss your hills, shops, and landscapes. I miss your magic powers to connect me with awesome strangers turned lifelong friends. I miss your autumnal colors. I even miss your windy disposition. I wonder if I miss you more in these colder months, especially. I wonder what it would be like to be back now two years removed. Will the terrace about the national gallery enchant me still? Will I find no miracles once again?
This fall, I've tried really freaking hard to live in the now. It's a state of being that feels chaotic, random, and messy but somehow so right.